After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
