Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
