what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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