All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
