We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
