Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
