just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
