In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
