What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
