used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
