Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We need to get me chipped asap
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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