Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
