I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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