I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
