Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
