Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
