got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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