I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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