dude i'm inner monologue high
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
