She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
