we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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