ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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