We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
