Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
