you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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