considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
