this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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