come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
