there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
