Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
