i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
