Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
