she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
