i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
