ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
