The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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