Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the condom got lost in my hair
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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