"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
