No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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