what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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