sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We got so high we made milksteak
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Pants are for mortals
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
