Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
