He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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