So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
