in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
