I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
