remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
