I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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