i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
