thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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